Fix Marriage

fix-marriage_weddingDivorce statistics today continue to be alarming and depressing. But even so, this does not mean your own marriage is doomed to failure. You can fix marriage problems by simply altering your perspective towards marriage and relationships in general.

5 Tips to Fix Marriage Problems

Today is the beginning of a new chapter in your marriage, one that is free from bitter quarrels and misunderstandings. You need to greet each day with this affirmation—“I love my partner and I want to fix my marriage.”

Don’t Fight

Watch Dr. Dana Fillmore, Clinical Psychologist, explain how to eliminate fighting from your marital relationship.

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Do things out of love

One of the easiest ways to ruin a marriage is by turning everything into an obligation. Marriages aren’t jobs in which a partner must be compensated by the other for every little thing. Yes, a give-and-take relationship is important, but everything must be done freely and out of love.

Try to remember the time when you first fell in love or the days when you talked excitedly about marriage plans. In those days, what mattered was being united as one in the eyes of the law and God. You would never have imagined that there would come a time you’d sleep in separate beds simply because you’re always the one taking out the trash and yet your partner isn’t even considerate enough to clean the house when you have a night out with your friends.

When you do something for your spouse, do so because you wish him or her to be happy and because you love your partner. Do not run a mental list of all the good things you did and expecting all these to be returned. If that is the case, what you have isn’t a marriage or even a relationship. It’s simply work compensated by an exchange of favors.

Do not nag

One quick way to fix marriage problems is to simply refrain from nagging. And yes, husbands also nag. They just complain about different things, that’s all. Women tend to nag their spouses about their lack of initiative when it comes to keeping a neat and orderly home or the long hours they spend watching sports or drinking with their buddies. Men, on the other hand, could nag their wives about the time they spend talking on the phone or the way they raise their kids.

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Either way, nagging will not help improve your situation. If there is something you particularly dislike about your spouse, try determining its cause first. Get to the root of the problem. Why is he or she acting that way? Could I be somehow at fault? What can I do to help? What compromise am I willing to make? Don’t nag your spouse into doing what you want him or her to do as that’s akin to papering cracks. It’s only a temporary solution.

Think before you speak

It’s the golden rule for a healthy relationship. Words, once spoken, can never be taken back so think before you speak.

When you are feeling furious or resentful, remind yourself that saying hurtful or disparaging things to your spouse will not fix marriage problems. It can only make them worse. Will hurting your spouse will cruel words make you feel good in the long run? Of course not! So why say them at all?

It’s understandable that you wish to confront your spouse about issues that are deeply important to you. Do so, however, when that initial rush of anger and bitterness is gone and you are able to approach the topic with a clear mind.

To fix marriage problems successfully, there must be a mutual desire to compromise and see each other happy. As long as that commitment remains in your heart, no problem is too big to fix.

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Avoid Verbal Abuse

Words can be extremely destructive, particularly in a marriage. If you are prone to losing your temper and saying ugly, hurtful or vicious things to your partner, you need to change this behavior immediately.  Verbal abuse will eventually take an emotional toll on your spouse.  While you may feel they are “just words” and forget that you even said them a day or two later, your spouse definitely will not forget.

The sting of verbal abuse can go deep, and cruel words can be very difficult to forget for the person who is on the receiving end.  If you are having marriage problems and truly want to fix marriage without divorce, verbal abuse of any kind must stop immediately.

These are just a few of many things that can eventually tear a couple apart.  Each behavior is not only destructive, it is also incredibly disrespectful.  If you really desire to have a happy, healthy marriage and fix your marriage without divorce, ask yourself if you are doing anything destructive to the relationship similar to the above.  If so, do whatever it takes to begin to make some changes.  Your marriage will definitely benefit if you do!

Need to fix marriage issues?
Check out this self-help course…
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