Many married people come to a point where the relationship starts to fray a little at the edges. Some ask the question “What can help my marriage get back to what it used to be?” Others cry out in desperation, “Help me save my marriage…please, anyone!” Each marriage has its own set of unique problems, but the following tips work for practically anyone in a marital crisis.
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The following should be of interest to those asking the question, “What can I do to help my marriage?”
Please Help…My Marriage is in Crisis
There are four factors in a relationship which are especially important in a marriage. If you are asking the question “What, if anything, can help my marriage?” these are the essentials you need to keep in mind.
Marriage is the basic foundation for society because it is the ideal setting for people to feel loved. Children who feel loved grow up healthier and happier. Married people turn to their spouses to fulfill this need. An abundance of love makes a person feel strong, purposeful and inspired. If your marriage is in trouble, focus less on the question “what can I do to help my marriage” and more on “how can I make my spouse feel more loved”. Most of the time those two questions are essentially the same.
Having a significant other
Having a significant other has become a catchphrase, but it is one of the foundations for a solid marriage relationship. Attaining importance in the eyes of at least one person can be truly empowering. When you succeed in making your spouse feel that he or she is uniquely special, then “how to help my marriage” becomes something that you never need to think about. Unfortunately, it is easy to take your spouse for granted, especially if your marriage is of long-standing. Take a step back from your busy schedule and ask yourself a truly important question: What have I done to make my spouse feel special to me lately?
People are social creatures and crave closeness with other people. In marriage, intimacy is an inherent part of truly staying together. Intimacy, however, is not just a physical condition. Emotional intimacy is also needed to make the physical aspects of your relationship meaningful. One without the other is a surefire way of developing dissatisfaction in your marriage.
Your may have considered plastic surgery thinking being more attractive will help my marriage. However, this strategy will fail miserably if there is no emotional connection.
To nurture openness in your relationship with your spouse, relax and let your guard down. Then you will truly have intimacy.
Being true to yourself
When you put your best foot forward, many people think that it means being someone else. The world expects you to conform to what is the norm, which may be different from your true self. In a marriage, each one should feel secure enough in the relationship to reveal the real person beneath your “game face.” There should be no need for hiding your true self or your true feelings from your spouse, because it will interfere with meaningful communication between the two of you. Rather than “who should I be to help my marriage”, you should ask yourself “have I been true to my spouse in all aspects”.
Honesty and sincerity will break down any misunderstandings that may be eating away at your marriage. At the same time, acceptance of all that your spouse is will pave the way to a strong and healthy relationship.
Love, significance, intimacy and truth are the four essential aspects in a relationship that needs to be nurtured. If these are present in a marriage, there will be no need for the cry of “Help me save my marriage!”
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